Grammatically correct

General Discussion related to the Plazma Burst game series!

Re: Grammatically correct

Postby Hikarikaze » 28 September 2017, 06:57

If you really want to be grammatically correct:

For level 2, you can drop the "and nothing else" part because no other key is mentioned anyways. The reader will assume that only the jump key is required. You can rewrite it so it becomes a more sequential type of a guiding statement: "Run, then only hold your jump key on walls to perform wall jumps." It's more specific and it gives a sequence (run first before jumping).

Level 7
Press the Left and Right key to swing on ropes; press E or X to release yourself from it.

Or you can try: "Press the Left and Right key to swing on ropes. Press E or X to release yourself from it."

It's more appropriate to use a semicolon if you're going to join two sentences/clauses together. Same goes for a period since both can be sentences in their own right. You'd only use the comma if the word "and" is after it or you can just drop the comma and simply use "and."

"Press the Left and Right key to swing on ropes, and press E or X to release yourself from it."

Same goes for the correction for the dialogue on level 31 and the dialogue on levels 40 and 41 regarding the time machine.

For example, the level 31 dialogue: "Man, I hate those aliens; they remind me of my wife!" can be used along with "Man, I hate those aliens. They remind me of my wife!"

Level 31
There's nothing wrong with this one besides general word order and flow, but you can also put commas after "portal" and "corner" so it becomes "That portal, which connects us to an unknown race in a corner of a galaxy, was the biggest mistake humanity made." This way, it can just be shortened to "That portal was the biggest mistake humanity made." Commas can be used as parentheses and clauses in parentheses can be omitted. Think of it as adding additional context that's not basically important and essential but still included anyways.

Multiplayer
[Player] killed itself. "Themselves" is plural and the player is a singular noun. "Itself" is gender neutral and can be used if the gender of a noun is unknown or non-existent. You could also use "his or herself" too but "itself" works as well when it comes to being general

Also +1 for the apostrophes thing. It's irritating how contractions can't be used in dialogue so they have to be written in its full form which ends up making characters' dialogue sound less human and more robotic. It even worked and displayed fine in-game so I can't think of any issues regarding apostrophes.
User avatar
Hikarikaze
Noir Lime [600]
 
Posts: 694
Joined: 24 January 2014, 02:05
Location: Somewhere, just not here

Return to General Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users